I am a non-binary individual who is still a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Although I was born a female at birth, I still like to wear feminine clothing (but not make-up), and as much as I’d like to cut my hair, it looks better when it’s long. I still haven’t come out to anyone in-person for fear of getting rejected at home and/or at church. Who wants to use neutral titles and pronouns for someone like me, who is obviously dressed like a woman, right?
Everyone at church is either a brother or a sister. On the second hour of every other Sunday, you either attend Relief Society or Elders Quorum. Most of my attributes relate to that of a sister, but I don’t feel like one, nor do I feel like a brother. Even after all of this, I have neglected the temple. If I remain non-binary, then I might miss out on opportunities to do temple work because I’m offended by gendered terms. When I die, ancestors will either whisper or call out my name and say, “[Name], I wish you had tried to put my name through the temple so I would’ve had the opportunity to enjoy the blessings that you take for granted.”
I don’t know what to do about this, but I am forever grateful for this trial of social gender dysphoria because now I understand the importance of using people’s correct names and pronouns. Now I am in the process of becoming an ally and a friend to someone in need. In fact, we could be each other’s allies because no one likes to walk alone on the face of this earth. The point of mortality is to learn and grow together. We are all brothers, sisters, and children of a loving Heavenly Father who has a perfect love for each of us. (Don’t forget Heavenly Mother!) What’s more is that the Savior has a full understanding of the trial I am in, even if I don’t fully understand it myself. Remember this quote by Jeffrey Roy Holland: “It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”
All this being said, I will remember my covenants and walk uprightly as best as I can because the best is all I can do. I will let the Savior fill in the gaps because He is leading me out of the waters of “the gulf of misery and endless wo” (Book of Mormon, Helaman 5:12) to the shores of everlasting joy. He is the source of my joy. Thank you for letting me share my story. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
